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Ask Professor Crazy!
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"Egg Cartons & Sealing Wax, Cabbages & Kings!"

"Egg Cartons & Sealing Wax, Cabbages & Kings!"



Waste Not, Want Not!

Waste not, want not, save, save, save!
Fill your houses with treasures, with all that your heart craves!
Fill them with knick-knacks and doo-dads,
Salt-shakers, thimbles, and all that is "rad,"
For, how can satisfying yours wants be bad?

But, soon our houses grow filled,
While we still feel unhappy and unfullfilled;
Egg cartons and sealing wax, cabbages and kings;
Barbies, Beanie Babies, trinkets, & balls of string--
Fun-to-collect artifacts,
But, what lasting satisfaction does the collecting bring?

It is time to speak of many things, from egg cartons & sealing wax, to cabbages & kings! Why do people have such an incredible passion for collecting various things? What distinguishes pack-rats who like to hoard stuff they'll probably never use from the person who collects Eric Clapton signed guitars, or pianos of which John Lennon once tickled the ivories? There is a saying that one can tell the men from the boys by the cost of their toys, and this is true in the world of collecting, also. There is a pleasure in possessing items which once belonged to famous people--you can feel a sort of kinship with the previous owners in this way. There is a pleasure in owning the autographs of great athletes and actors, for basically the same reason.

But, what causes otherwise sane people to try to own every Mark McGwire baseball card ever made? What causes people to hoard seemingly valueless items, such as bottle caps, balls of string, and thimbles? Sometimes collecting & hoarding borders on an obsession; and, often, the razor-thin border is crossed. If Mark McGwire happens to be your favorite baseball player, there is nothing wrong with wanting to collect every single issue of baseball cards his image is on that one can afford, as long as he/she can still pay all of the bills. The hunt for new and unique items is a major part of the fun in collecting of any sort. However, the hoarding of bits of string and rubber bands, and the piling up of old newspapers in one's house, can be an indication not of mere thriftiness, but of advanced CRAZINESS!

While I condone and promote CRAZINESS, there are types of CRAZINESS that are all in good semi-clean fun and types which, to put it bluntly, are signs of lunacy. It is the former type of CRAZINESS which I subscribe to--if you feel you belong to the second category, get professional help, while you still can! What is the object of YOUR obsession? If it's not one already, I hope that reading Ask Professor Crazy! will become one for you!

If you have any comments about this Article, or any other aspect of APC, simply drop me a line via the Contact Me Page! Until next Article, please check out the rest of Ask Professor Crazy!


Pizza Of The Gods!
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